awareness
Know yourself . Oracle of Delphi
Becoming aware of what we really think and feel is the core principle of therapy. This is necessary for healing and sufficient.
non-verbal awareness
Therapy is a meeting of subconscious minds. Most of the information in the therapeutic conversation is not so much in the meaning of the words or their syntax but in their delivery. Their intonation, melody, timbre, hesitations, accent, cadence, pitch and speed. Their timing; where and where they are said. Words are not so much the message as the vehicle for the message. And what is not said is often more telling than what is said.
Few experiences find their way into words. The complex ways that other animals remember, plan and communicate shows the potential we have for other ways of thinking and communicating. Everything about a person speaks to us. Clothes, eyes, size shape, skin, hands, posture, the smells, the sounds of movements, the large and small movements of bodies and faces. Heart rhythms find their way into our transactions. Words can drown out these communications.
listening and feeling
The subconscious exchanges that underlie conversations can be felt by monitoring subtle shifts in one's own thoughts and feelings.
Everyone has sensation map of their body of feelings and emotions from the skin to the inner organs from the toes to the nose. The map changes in the presence of another person and the changes are like images of the other that can be read on a picture screen. The therapist reads this not so much to understand intellectually (this can get in the way) but to become fully present and responsive Then the therapist can be used as an interactive mirror to step into and explore. As we allow ourselves to notice, then the way opens for our clients to notice as well.
Meanings can be glimpsed that would otherwise pass unnoticed. Parents, partners and past experiences play themselves out in passing sentences, images, thoughts and sensations.
the first instant
We can recognise a face and make other complex evaluations of another person in a fraction of a second.
In the first moments of an encounter before hopes, fears and the censorship of politeness and social conditioning kick in we know each other intimately through seeing each others fleeting micro movements and feeling the responses throughout our body. These fleeting emotions, sensations, and thoughts are also windows into our subconscious.
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the present moment |
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If we can stay in the present moment and capture these reflex calculations before they are censored they show who we are dealing with and what is going on. |
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Am I in the present moment right now? |
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What is the smallest or most fleeting feeling I can detect at this very moment? |
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Are there any sensations in my body? |
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Where do I feel these? |
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Are there any fleeting trains of thought? |
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Are there any feelings, desires or ideas or tensions in the body that have not quite fully come to conscious awareness? |
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what is this feeling? |
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Am I mimicking the other person's feeling? |
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Or is this my reaction to them? |
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Or has the encounter reminded me of something and I am wandering off into a train of thought of my own? |
enhancing awareness
Senses can be enhanced with practice. Blind people are aware of the faintest sounds of movement and map the space and objects around them by the way sound reverberates. The deaf develop a refined understanding of the meaning of the movements and facial expressions of others. A few people are consciously aware of a landscape of human plant and animal pheromones and other smells and their meanings but most of us don't realise how much we rely on smell. (Losing the sense of small is the the most disturbing sensory loss.)
In industrial societies we notice others visually and intellectually and miss most of the rest. The body intelligence page practices sensitivity to small cues. The centering and relaxation exercises on the stress pages calm and clear our viewing screen.
copyright (C) John Brasted 2008
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